Everyday is a struggle and I feel like I constantly have to push myself to get through the days. I am suck in limbo. It looks like finding the right research project can be a long journey. I have to pay much attention to improving myself in spite of the situation.
I would absolutely be a berserk and lost without my amazing and candy gonca and my perfect friends who have a strong individuality. I've been struggling a lot recently with research proposals that I should already have done last month, still with me.
Irrational feelings of hating myself and surroundings due to my own frustrations with my inability to gracefully cope with the challenges that come with trying to study/live/work in a country with a different language and different culture, religious, etc.
I never expected I'd have trouble writing and deciding my research projects, especially not so long after starting, but if it were not for gonca to keep me physically here and friends to keep me mentally all here mostly I think I'd really be considering off back to turkey. However, I'm doing ok thanks to their and many other people's support, and am still planing to experience this infuriating, endless life for probably the rest of my life. ( I hope it turns out to be right path)